but I'm just asking You tonight...

I just got a new computer (well, >2 mos. ago), but still, I haven't gotten any music on it yet, so I put a cd in at the beginning of the week, and have just been listening to that same cd ("Can You Hear Us?") over and over. Currently my favorite song is track 5: "Elizabeth". I can't decided whether I find it encouraging or discouraging.

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and You can save a whole nation at a time,
but I'm just asking You tonight... please save Elizabeth.
I'll keep on listing those I love,
or ask for all the nations to come,
or plead for those who have never heard,
and those who've been hurt by the church,
or beg for those who have nothing to eat,
or little girls being sold for pennies,
or ask for freedom for the slaves in chains,
or for peace to come where wars rage.
And I know that You can save a whole nation at a time,
but I'm just asking You tonight... please save Elizabeth.

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There are things I want... by things I don't mean material stuff... I can't help but think that surely God wants the things I ask Him for too b/c they are good things. So I pray for them...and I'm convinced God must consent ...they are good things!

Was visiting with a dear person recently... had a hard life. And I can't imagine living that life, can't imagine I'd be able to endure it. I assume myself exempt from such hardship...that I, for some warped reason, think I should have a rosy life, blessed beyond measure...is this a health and wealth gospel I've adopted for myself? Why do I think I should have everything I want when my friend has suffered so much...do I think myself better???

And then I listen to this song...oh, man am I self centered!!! so consumed with praying for these things I want, they are good things of course, but they certainly benefit me too. I pray for these things while others pray for food, pray for war to leave their country, pray for protection from violence and sexual abuse...and many of these people have been praying far longer than I have.

So that's a little discouraging...to be reminded, "Hey, there's people out there with far greater needs than you, and they're still waiting for help...so get in line." I hate waiting in line...

but I'm also encouraged. hmmm, not sure why, but I am. The world is undone from all sides, and all the gazillions of people covering its surface - they've all got their hands in the air - all wanting something. I'm one of them. Just one in the crowd. But I'm encouraged because crowds never seemed to be a problem in the past...

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feeding of the 5,000
Mark 6:34 & 42 "When Jesus went ashore, He saw a large crowd...They all ate and were satisfied."

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healing the paralytic
Mark 1:4 & 5 "Being unable to get to Him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above Him...and Jesus, seeing their faith, said to the paralytic, 'Son, your sins are forgiven.'"

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Mark 1:33 & 34 "And the whole city had gathered at the door.... and He healed many who were ill with various diseases."

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Mark 5:24, 27, &34 "and a large crowd was following Him and pressing in on Him...she came up in the crowd behind Him and touched His cloak...And He said to her, 'Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace and be healed of your affliction.'"