The Art of Loving and Running

It is week 12 of my training for the Gainesville marathon set for Valentine's Day 2010. I'm hoping not only to finish the race, but also to run fast enough to qualify for the Boston Marathon. It is a lofty goal for me... and one that I'm not so sure I am capable of attaining...

I'm considering another goal for Valentine's Day as well. It is even loftier... and one that I'm quite positive I'll not attain, especially not byFeb. 14 ...if ever. The speaker at my seminary graduation ceremony challenged the graduates: "get good at loving well". I didn't know what he meant really, but a few years later I've decided its a challenge worth pursuing. Maybe the only thing in life that is whole heartedly worth pursuing. I realize this will be a life long pursuit, and not something I'll achieve over the next 3 months, but its helpful to set milestones on a long run, and for thematic purposes Valentines Day will be the first mile marker in my training to get good at loving well:)

I recently finished reading "The Art of Loving" by Eric Fromm. "Is love an art?" he begins, "then it requires knowledge and effort." Fromm says that love is the one thing that everyone wants, but very few ever truly attain. If I look around, I'd have to say "yeah, that strikes me as a true statement". And if I look at myself I have to say the same thing...where's the love??? And I don't just mean romantic love, but love between friends, family, self, God, and yes, romantic love too:) Love is rarely attained, Fromm says, due to a lack of knowledge and effort. Not luck? Not meeting the right person to love? No. Knowledge and Effort - understanding what real love is and putting effort into attaining it. We have adopted distorted notions of what love is from our culture. One of those distortions is the idea that love is something one "falls into" (based on emotions), or just a matter of meeting the right person - someone that is easy to love. We assume that real love should be easy and not require any work or effort on our part. But Fromm says that love is not something for the lucky few, but for those few willing to train and work for it.

Today's long run was 18 miles - and I questioned myself: "why am I doing this? ...it is so hard!!!" I'm doing it because it is good for me (it makes me a stronger and better person), and because all the effort will be worth it when I cross the finish line come February. Ok, actually it has nothing to do with Feb 14 - race day - valentine's day. It has everything to do with the training and who I am all the days leading up to race day. Am I a runner? Am I a person who loves?

"The practice of any art," Fromm argues "requires discipline, concentration, patience, and a supreme concern with the mastery of that art" - the same is true for learning the art of loving. I do not like any of those words: discipline, concentration, and patience - but there are things of supreme concern to me that I am willing to practice discipline, concentration, and patience for. The marathon requires this of me...am I willing to practice these things to also get good at loving well? Training for a marathon is so concrete and easy to measure and observe your progress in. Love is much harder to measure - and as such, perhaps it is more worth the striving for.